So, this time around we aren't secluding ourselves for 6 weeks like we did with Eli, mostly because we have Eli and he needs to see and be around people. We are staying close to home, limiting the length of visits and long visits are reserved for people like my brother Josh, who lives in Ohio and we haven't seen in a while, and my cousin who lives in California and we only see every 6 months if we are lucky. I know most moms I know poopoo the whole idea because they didn't do that with their child....it wasn't necessary because you carried your child for 9 months and they heard your voice and listened to your heartbeat 24/7....but with adopted children it is different. You have to facilitate positive attachment. Sometimes I think the way we did it with Eli was so much easier because we just had a hard and fast rule that we didn't break. It sucks because so many people don't understand it and just think we are being overprotective. What people don't realize is that the attachment we form with Max now affects the rest of his life not just the next couple of weeks. It's hard to explain this to someone that hasn't ever adopted because raising adopted children is just different.
Okay I said my peace now maybe our decisions will make more sense to everyone and if not at least maybe they will try to understand that it is just different than with bio-children.
3 comments:
Stay strong Jenn! You are the mama, you are in charge.
Hope you guys are well. Kisses to E and M.
What you said makes perfect sense & I think you are doing the right thing for your family. I give you a whole lot of credit and respect for sticking to your plans. You're completely right, the bond you form now as a family, will affect him (& you all) as he continues to grow. Love to all of you!
This blog could be more exciting if you can create another topic that everyone can relate on.
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