Worried....

I have a lot of thoughts tonight. I am worried these days about Eli's acceptance of a new baby into the house. I don't think it will go very well. I know that it is going to be a huge challenge and a huge adjustment. Eli gets very jealous when I interact in any way with another baby and will lash out at me. I think it is going to be ugly. There is a little glimmer of hope though. When I was visiting Hollie and the twins I held the babies a couple of times. Each time Eli would get real standoffish and find somewhere else to be so I would need to come and find him. The last time I held him he was playing with Matt and when he saw I was holding the baby he threw himself on the floor and put his arms up for me to come and get him. I told him to walk over and he could sit with mommy too. Eventually he kind of crawled over and finally he climbed up next to me. He was still pretty standoffish but within a couple of minutes he was touching the babies hand and being very gentle. That makes me hold out hope that bringing a baby home will be okay. I am not hoping for great just okay with a long warm up period.