Can't even believe it.

Wow, I am staying home with my kids. I can't even believe I ever made the decision....I am thouroughly happy with it but just can't believe it. I always said I would be a working mom. I think I just figured out that although I know he will be fine in daycare that wasn't good enough for me. It's not good enough when I can spend all day with him. One day I just said I love my job but I can work any time. My kids will only be this little for a limited time and that is too precious to me. So, I did it. I quit. I left teaching last year to return....I don't know....years from now. Very scary at first but slowly the fear subsided and left behind a contentment and joy for my decision. It is so nice on the eve of "going back to school day" to think that I am not going back. I don't have to go to meetings or be away from Eli for nine hours at a time. When all the teachers I know and love are sitting in meetings I will be at the park or on a playdate. Both sound so much more fun than meetings you dread thinking about the things you should be doing in your classroom instead. I will miss my students and colleagues but I won't miss not seeing my kids. I won't miss late evenings and being tired because I have work to do, not to mention dinner, dishes, or any other chores that come up. I was afraid I would really miss my job....it's really funny....I don't miss the work at all, just the people.